Blog

Saying goodbye to a friend
Tue, Jul. 9th, 2013  •  0:20

Tomorrow is my friend Victoria's memorial service.

It's weird.

Victoria and I met at a dysfunctional startup at the end of the dotcom boom. Our cubicles next to each other. It was a long time ago--so many lifetimes ago it feels like. Since WHN, we only spoke periodically, and usually via text, Facebook messaging or comments. We saw each other even less. Years would go by between random lunches with Jessica, her, and me--our "peep lunches" we called them. But Victoria was as unforgettable as she was strong. She probably never knew that I thought and spoke of her often.

I remember the antics of our former employer.

I remember vividly her wedding. It was at a beautiful location. She didn't want to bore her guests with a long, drawn out ceremony, so the ceremony itself was short, had an amazing singer. It was short, memorable, to the point, as she wanted to get onto the celebration. It was Victoria.

I remember the bunny she had briefly (William) whom I met..

Peep lunches were almost always held at the Hamburger Hamlet on Sepulveda--it was a place we went often when we worked together. Their lobster bisque was one of our staples--that and those little crispy onion rings. I remember one time laughing in the parking lot after we'd eaten. As I walked her to her car, looking for her usual beemer, she stopped by an SUV and popped open the hatch. "That's right. I drive an SUV now, with a car seat. Can you believe it?! ....Me, of all people!" She said with her usual devilish smile.

Eventually the West L.A. Hamlet closed. When we heard the original Hamlet on Sunset was closing, we had to have a peep lunch there. We reminisced in one of those iconic booths. We talked about her jobs. She was in P.R., and she always had stories to tell--she repped Larry Flynt! She always had doozies to tell. I had no idea this would be the last time I would see her.

As we were leaving the Hamlet, she told me she was dealing with cancer. "This is a wig!" She exclaimed, with her usual smile. "You okay?" I asked. She of course told me she was doing fine. I took it. I don't deal with that stuff well, and this was Victoria. She's indestructible. I knew she'd be fine, and I never gave it a second thought.

When I heard recently there were talks about opening another Hamlet on this side, I thought "Great! That will be our next peep lunch." One of my coworkers I work closely with does P.R. for the company I work for. I've brought Victoria up numerous times to her, as well as randomly to friends. I don't think she ever knew how often I thought of her, and brought her up either directly or indirectly. I never told her. I guess I was really proud of her. I never told her how much I admired her-- her tenacity, animation, and strength of character. I'm not sure I realized any of it myself. Emoting is not something I'm particularly comfortable with, but now I find myself filled with regret for never having told her.

Even though we only saw each other every couple of years, I guess I just always took for granted she'd be there, and we'd still be sharing stories every so often.

It was the Thursday after celebrating the gay rights wins from the Supreme Court just the day before. That evening, I saw the post on her Facebook from her husband letting everyone know she'd passed that afternoon. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I must have scrolled back a half dozen times to reread it thinking I must have read the name wrong. For a moment, I had no idea what had happened. Then our conversation at our last Hamlet lunch hauntingly came back to me.

Those random things that happen in my day that make me think of her still pop in my mind. Then I remember she's gone. I never realized what an impact she made on me. I was selfish for not taking what she told me that day more seriously, all because of my usual naive notion that not dealing with it somehow makes it not real.

And as I pick out my outfit for tomorrow, it still doesn't seem real. I miss you already.

location: United States, California, West Hollywood     
Mood: sad     

Modern Warfare 2 - Missing a head
Tue, Nov. 10th, 2009  •  15:30

I picked up my Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 2 promptly at midnight last night. It was pretty crazy: Infinity Ward had a tank, a humvee, and a line that wrapped around the block. After freezing my ass off for an hour, I got my precious—which I played on Veteran until 5 in the morning when I thought it might be good to get 3 hours sleep before work.

The game is simply fraking AWESOME. I didn't know if Infinity Ward could outdo Call of Duty 4, but this is as good or better.

I was so stoked to be playing, it was totally lost on me that there was something wrong with my prestige edition. I thought I was the only one unlucky enough to end up without a complete Soap head. , but I've seen a couple things online suggesting a few other people may have had that problem. In my case, I had two left halves of Soap's head and was missing the right half.

I brought mine back to Best Buy the moment they opened this morning, but not before I'd already emailed and called Jakks (the company that made the bust and night vision goggles for Activision) to ask what to do, since I wasn't sure if Best Buy would have a replacement (the prestige editions are sold out, from what I understand).

Anyway, Best Buy took care of my problem, but the folks at Jakks were super friendly. The lady on the phone promptly called me back, and I've already gotten a response from them via email:

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: RE: Modern Warfare 2 Prestige TWO LEFT HEADS!
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:53:38 -0800
From: Carlos ** **** <*******@jakks.net>
To: <david@>

Thank you for contacting Consumer Relations

We are in the process of ordering the face halves, but we will be able to send you the parts that you need. If you can please verify which half you need, as if you were the mannequin, ie if you were looking at the back of it’s head. Also please forward me your mailing address, and a contact phone number. We will contact you as soon as we receive and send out the replacements.

Thank you,
Carlos ** ****
Consumer Relations
21749 Baker Parkway Industry CA 91789
P:877.875.2557

location: United States, California, Los Angeles     
Mood: bouncy     

Menus make me think
Mon, Feb. 23rd, 2009  •  22:54

 

Do you think there's a shelter for battered shrimp?

 

Mood: curious     

2009 Google Holiday Doodle Defacing: The Fountain of Youth
Sat, Dec. 27th, 2008  •  17:59

Yes, I lag.

The original doodle, in case you missed it..

and now for the alternate ending. I call it "The Fountain of Youth".

















 

Mood: festive     

at least it didn't end in fire this time
Wed, Nov. 12th, 2008  •  19:35

My Dearest Trader Ming:

While I enjoyed your Shrimp Gyoza, I believe you may have left out a step in the directions.

I heated the oil in the wok on high and began pan frying the gyoza, flat side down, just as your directions indicated. It was, however, after those 4 minutes when you instructed me to "add 4 tablespoons of water to pan" that things went horribly, horribly wrong.

You seemed to have neglected to include the part where the gyoza would immediately go supernova. While the loud eruption startled scared the living fuck out of me, it was the geyser of oily, searing hot pain that rained down immediately after, causing me to slip while trying to exit what I believed at the time be an exploding kitchen, that I will remember most.

I can only assume that this was meant as payback for Hiroshima. We're even, okay? Please don't try to kill me again with your delicious frozen food treats.

 

Mood: hot     

Resolve
Wed, Nov. 5th, 2008  •  12:29

Last night and this morning stung. I never really thought my fellow Californians would vote for hate, but in the end, a lot of them probably had a hard time going against the will of their respective churches.

As much as these people acted as bigots, I'm slowly realizing that many Californians simply don't hate gays. Sure, it's a part of that vote, but it's not 52%. That's simply not who we are. The bigots have somehow found a home with the church, and we've unfortunately found ourselves countering years worth of rhetoric from the clergy and other leaders.

The past 8+ years, they've heard the politics of prejudice and hate preached by the likes of Karl Rove through the very leader of our country. Decent and good people have had that message bolstered by a Republican convention full of rabid fundamentalists willing to go to any length to make us the feared and hated target of their culture war, regardless of the cost to us. They wasted millions of dollars to do nothing but attack us.

I think I'd gotten somewhat complacent in my little bubble here in Southern California, and that's what makes this sting more to us, I think. We've had our very foundations rattled, in a place where we've felt safe to be ourselves, where we felt not just tolerated, but respected. The battle isn't just being waged here though. This whole event has made me realize how critically, critically important it is we take up this fight at all levels.

I do have some hope that with Obama, the Republicans will no longer have the White House from which to spew its messages of intolerance.

To the leaders of the Catholic and Mormon Churches, however, I kind of hope there is a hell. I'd love to see you judged by your actions this election. You spent millions of dollars that could have helped people to hurt people. If there is true evil in the world, you exemplified it with your bold-faced lies, your fear tactics, and your abhorrent bigotry. You've masterfully shown to the world why the separation of church and state must, must be maintained.

In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own.
-Thomas Jefferson, 1814

Mood: determined     
Listening to: Linkin Park - Hands Held High     

Bittersweet
Tue, Nov. 4th, 2008  •  22:59

I cheered. We all cheered as McCain conceded defeat.

It was a truly a surreal moment, however, at the Henry Fonda Theater when they introduced Obama as the next POTUS. I actually teared up as I watched and listened to our new President.

It was amazing. It was truly, truly amazing. In all of the elections in which I've participated, I've never been so ecstatic, so moved, and so inspired. He's a great orator. In the end though, the real victory is that his election is symbolic of and sends the message of a course change that is so woefully needed by this country.

After his speech though, my friend informed of Prop 8's status, which was just depressing. I remember how surprised I was when Prop 22 passed, but this is years later. Little has apparently changed. The fact is, I live in a state that right now cares more about the rights of chickens (prop 2) than it does of its own citizens.

I know the fight isn't over, but I'm drained. Why do I have to feel as if I need to fight for my rights every, single election?

I guess I should be happy our country took a new direction tonight. I'm really disappointed in my state right now though.

I always thought we were different. I spoke to a friend in the south who reminded me that we still have it much better off than they do. It still stings though. In some ways, to be honest, I think it stings more. I didn't realize so many in my own state felt the way they do.

Here's to Hope. For tonight, though, I'm going to take my Ambien and go to sleep before the Prop 8 bigots announce their temporary victory. Our fight continues tomorrow...

 

Mood: numb     

Conditioned Response: 1, David: 0
Mon, Oct. 13th, 2008  •  16:29

zomg everything I touch is shocking the frak out of me.

Close a window? ZAP
Touch my XBox headset? ZAP!
Open a window? ZAP
Touch my phone? ZAP
Flush the toilet? ZAP
Wanna use my laptop? ZZZZZZZAP

This was maybe funny the first 30 times. Now I'm scared to touch anything.

WHY IS EVERYTHING IN MY APARTMENT MADE OF PAIN?

Mood: shocked     
Listening to: Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With A Butterfly     

Checkpoint - Time Extended!
Mon, Sep. 8th, 2008  •  17:24

  

I like the timers on pedestrian crosswalks, particularly when driving so I know if I can make the light as I near the intersection.

After I went through a couple lights on Olympic Blvd today, just barely making it to each as the countdown ran out and the light went yellow, I couldn't help but feel as if I were in a video game racing to hit all the checkpoints in time.

All I need now are paddle shifters, a radio that can tune "Splash Breeze", and a blonde sitting next to me saying "Great job" over and over until I'm trying to figure out where the melee button is.

I'm not entirely sure any of this is a good thing for my fellow drivers....

 

Mood: hyper     
Listening to: Linkin Park - Hands Held High     

tweet this
Thu, May. 8th, 2008  •  22:25

that's weird. i can't seem to find the option to have twitter notifications BURNED INTO MY FUCKING SCROTUM WITH A SALTY, HOT CATTLE PROD.

if i could totally kill only two people this year, it would be the guy on the infomercials who talks about the importance of evacuating the 1200 pounds of leftover crap in your colon and the fraking twat monkey who thought giving venture capital to twitter was a good idea.

...and if i could get one more, i'd go after the person or persons who thought it would be so fucking awesome to syndicate the twitter content to every other service on earth. O HAI MAYBE IN ADDITIONS TO TEXTING MY PHONE, IMING ME, EMAILING ME, AND POSTING IT TO MY FACEBOOK YOU COULD ATTACH IT TO LARGE ROCKS AND THROW IT AT MY FUCKING HEAD TOO!

ok i'm just kidding. you know i love you all. but seriously, twitter needs to die painfully in a tragic velociraptor acid reflux accident.

p.s. i'll probably twitter you this weekend when i'm bored in an airport.
 

Mood: bouncy     

They just grow up so fast *sniffle*
Fri, Apr. 25th, 2008  •  16:31

My little man's an Officer now. Seems like yesterday he was just a Sergeant Major.

*sniff* I'm all verklempt... talk amongst yourselves.





 

Mood: gotta pee!     
Listening to: Flobots - Stand Up     

ROOMBA DORAL GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANCE!
Fri, Apr. 11th, 2008  •  19:03

omg.

My vacuum cleaner apparently went batshit. Wires all over my room. It pulled my other cell phone off its charger and somehow left it way on the other side of the room before hiding my bluetooth headset charger. I've got papers ripped all over the place.

When I find where he's hiding, he's SO gonna get it.

 

Listening to: Flobots - Handlebars     

Roomba lost its first baby tooth!
Thu, Feb. 28th, 2008  •  20:35

Awww... One of Doral's baby teeth fell out today.



...guess someone's getting a visit from the Tooth Fairy tonight!

who's a cute widdle Roomba? Yesh you are... Yesh you are...

 

Mood: aww     
Listening to: NatGeo - Air Emergency     

I'd like to file a bug report
Wed, Feb. 20th, 2008  •  19:03

The Moon disappeared—like totally effing gone. I was told there would reddish orange tinges that would dazzle the skies.... DAZZLE THE SKIES!!

Stupid lying NASA. We're in a fight.




 

location: West Hollywood, CA     

Super Tuesday
Tue, Feb. 5th, 2008  •  18:31

Historic vote cast...,

Originally uploaded from my mobile by davidology.

location: West Hollywood, CA     
Mood: pleased     

1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila...
Sun, Feb. 3rd, 2008  •  11:16

I don't remember getting home from the bar, and I woke up with Hillary stickers all over me. (Is there a cream for that?)

 

Mood: oops     

Yes, please
Fri, Jan. 18th, 2008  •  10:14

Yes, please,
Originally uploaded from my mobile by davidology.

*sigh*
Wed, Jan. 16th, 2008  •  14:20

My Cheesy Gordita Crunch lost its crunch.

 

The Year Without A Fox News
Sat, Dec. 29th, 2007  •  19:50

Watching The Year Without A Santa Claus (the bestest holiday special EVAR), I suddenly envisioned this. I have no idea why.



Unrelated, my friend noticed that Snow Miser refers to Heat Miser as his "step brother" (I always just thought they were brothers). This begs the question: uhh... how many guys did Mother Nature bone, and who the hell are the baby daddies?

 

Listening to: "It was a year without a santa claus..."     

The 2007 Annual Google Doodle Defacing
Thu, Dec. 27th, 2007  •  0:46

I don't like stick people, meh.

So I like to have my own little alter-endings to the Google holiday doodles since theirs just never seem to have enough sex and/or violence. In that spirit, here's 2007. I like fire.



















 

Six to Eight Jack Balls
Mon, Dec. 24th, 2007  •  22:17

location: not the netherlands     
Mood: drained     

Saying the word
Mon, Dec. 3rd, 2007  •  14:46

Last night I went to Cracked Christmas by The Trevor Project. I will admit: I was expecting a fun time out with friends, and to that end it delivered. I drank with friends. I stood about a meter from Jodi Foster as she walked in. It was, by all accounts, a fun, gay evening out in the City of Angels.

Alec Mapa's bit had me rolling on the floor laughing. In fact, I don't think I've laughed that hard at a live performance in a while. There was, however, a payload I wasn't expecting, and I've been left distracted, in deep thought since.

It started when Jodi Foster gave an impassioned eulogy for her friend Randy Stone, creator of the movie Trevor. I sat amazed at how many lives this person whom I'd never heard of, producer of a movie I'd never seen, had touched. I couldn't help but wonder what the fuck I've done to make a difference.

But it was an emotional Ground Zero for me when T.R. Knight got up to introduce and give the Trevor Life Award to Ellen Degeneres. He was one of the few of the day's talent who did not read his lines. He spoke from the hip, often in unfinished sentences—his voice cracking as he was visibly trying to maintain his composure as he spoke of the coming out episode of Ellen on April 30, 1997, and how it affected him.

If I hadn't seen the episode, I probably would have cynically and defensively made a joke or gotten up to get another drink. But I remember the episode—vividly. I remember the day. It was a day after which I was never the same person. So I sat there hanging on his every word, somewhat shocked because, unless he was acting, the experience he echoed could have been my own. In fact, it was. I knew how much the episode meant to him as he was explaining it, because it meant that much to me.

I've been asked, as I'm sure every gay person has, "When did you know you were gay?" I always felt weird answering. Friends would tell me, "I knew all my life." But me? I had no such definitive answer. I'd secretly fallen in love with a guy, and even had kissed a guy before I knew. At the time, I couldn't figure out if I were straight and confused, bi, gay, or what, and I'd have happily taken a blood test to find out just to know.

When that Wednesday evening came around, I hung out with friends. When we went our separate ways, I snuck back to my dorm room, turned the TV on as low as it possibly could go and still be audible. I put a towel under the door so no one could hear, plopped myself down centimeters from the TV and hit PLAY.

I watched intently as "Ellen" wrestled with the issue. I remember my right hand was over my mouth, tears welling up in my eyes, as her character rhetorically asked, "Why can't I say the word?"

After the episode was finished, I remember getting up to look in the mirror. I didn't recognize the person looking back at me. I have to tell you, if you've never experienced it, it's an eerie feeling. I saw this fag looking back at me, and I knew. I finally knew. I tried to mouth the words "I'm gay," but had a hard time doing it. When I finally got the word out, I felt relieved, but immediately broke down feeling completely overwhelmed. It was the day I came out to myself, but I couldn't help but know that the life I thought I knew was over, and that I would never be the same person. I never was.

Years later, I found myself sitting right next to Ellen Degeneres at a party. I always had told myself that if I ever had the opportunity to, I wanted to tell her what that episode meant to me. I'm rarely star struck, but that night I was. I wanted so badly to turn to her and just say, "Thank you," but I couldn't. I didn't know if she'd know what the hell I were talking about, and I wasn't sure I could say it without breaking down. Last night, T.R. Knight said the word I couldn't for me—and for all of us, really, who were watching that night that feels like another lifetime ago—to Ellen:

Thanks.

 

Mood: pensive     
Listening to: Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes     

When Master Chief gets down on his knees
Thu, Nov. 8th, 2007  •  16:26

Now that is just so ridiculously sweet it makes me want to throw up a little.

This must've taken forever to forge. I totally want to catch the spike grenade when she throws it.

sauce

Mood: geeky     
Listening to: Mae - Skyline Drive     

Hazy Shade of Rover
Tue, Oct. 23rd, 2007  •  12:00

Everything in my office is a brownish/orangish color from the Sun cutting through the smog from the fires—a nice reminder that with every breath I'm probably taking a few minutes off my life as I inhale the remains of some Malibu socialite's lapdog.

location: Santa Monica, CA     
Mood: *coughs*     
Listening to: Bad Religion - Los Angeles Is Burning     

R.I.P. 853-1212 / 853-2121
Mon, Oct. 22nd, 2007  •  11:46

Effective September 19, 2007, the time announcement service has been discontinued. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday, came suddenly

Why she had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe, In yesterday

location: Santa Monica, CA     
Mood: crushed     
Listening to: - Indie 103.1     

Master Chief is sex
Sun, Sep. 23rd, 2007  •  18:18

I'm seriously about to piss myself with anticipation for Halo 3 tomorrow night.

It's like trying to sleep on Christmas Eve. It'll get worse for sure once once my Halo 3 countdown widget goes below 1 day. I have to somehow get a full night's sleep tonight, cuz I'm not sure how much I'll get tomorrow night. I plan to be at the store at midnight to pick mine up. I'll probably end up playing until some ungodsly hour. I just can't wait to ride the man cannon again.

...I'm totally taking my Master Chief action figures to work tomorrow.

WEEEEEEEEEE!


 

Mood: excited     
Listening to: Family Guy     

Hal Fishman's dead?!
Tue, Aug. 7th, 2007  •  14:38

KTLA anchor Hal Fishman dead at 75
By Dennis McLellan, Times Staff Writer
7:55 AM PDT, August 7, 2007

Hal Fishman, the multi-award-winning KTLA-TV Channel 5 news anchor who was a Los Angeles broadcasting fixture for nearly 50 years, died today, the station announced this morning. He was 75.

Google Rape
Wed, Aug. 1st, 2007  •  10:24

Googleplex toilet,
Originally uploaded from my mobile by davidology.

location: 1600 Amphitheater Parkway, Mountain View, CA     
Mood: distressed     

Choking Hazard
Mon, Jul. 2nd, 2007  •  19:56

I just had to buy it.




/aisle seat, pls

 

Mood: bouncy     
Listening to: Overlord     

Thank you, come again!
Mon, Jul. 2nd, 2007  •  14:59

My visit to the Kwik-E-Mart in West Los Angeles.





Yes, today, I queued up at 7-11 the Kwik-E-Mart to buy Buzz Cola and take these pics. Sadly, there was no Duff Beer to be found. Links are to my Flickr photoset.

btw- Squishees are disgusting! I'll try the Buzz Cola after I come down from the sugar rush of the Coke-flavored Squishee.

 

location: 90066     
Mood: hyper     
Listening to: Travis - Writing to Reach You     

Resistance
Fri, Jun. 22nd, 2007  •  14:59

I think the Borg weren't evil—just misunderstood.

 

location: 90405     
Mood: hyper     
Listening to: sound of the GSM mosquito     

xkcd: n ur reality
Mon, May. 21st, 2007  •  17:54

okay, I've srsly been LOLing at this for like 5 minutes (been catching up on my feeds from the weekend; I'm behind).



oh god, i laugh uncontrollably everytime I preview this.

help.

someone make this lollercoaster ride stop. stomach hurts.

 

Listening to: Stereophonics - Dakota (You Make Me Feel Like The One)     

Motorola MOTOROKR S9
Thu, Apr. 19th, 2007  •  18:13

SQUEEEEE! Helloooooo, Moto!

Motorola finally released the S9 headphones I've been dying to try out. Unfortunately, my last pair of BT headphones didn't quite live up to their usefulness. The fact is they were simply just too big. I felt like Princess Leah wearing the things. On top of that, they were a little on the heavy side and, well, the needless blinking blue lights on either side made me worry about jets trying to land on my head.

Enter the S9!

Mood: geeky     
Listening to: Story of the Year - Anthem of Our Dying Day     

Farkness
Thu, Apr. 19th, 2007  •  13:52

I was playing on Fark today. I got inspiration when I saw this lady. 'Course I was in a rush to a meeting, chopped off a corner of the wheel chair and really fraked up adding part of his arm.



I make drawerings. I pulled out this relic of internets of yore. I wonder what these guys are doing now. Someone really should do a "Where are they now?" of the intarwebs.

 

Mood: farked     
Listening to: Nada Stuff - Inside of Love     

My Dearest Trader Joe,
Wed, Apr. 11th, 2007  •  17:15

If you introduce one more thing I grow to love and then subsequently take it from me a month later, I swear to Raptor Christ, I will personally fly to the Middle East, dig up the baby Jesus, remove a rusty skewer from his crusty body and stab you in the eye with it, you teasing twat-monkey.

You've toyed with my emotions for the last time!

Signed,
Your loving customer,
David

P.S. bring back the Spicy Veggie & Flaxseed Tortilla Chips or I will totally kill Trader Ming with fire. kthxbye

 

Mood: hyper     
Listening to: Yellowcard - Back Home     

TiVo! What's happened to us?!
Mon, Mar. 5th, 2007  •  11:24

You should've been recording the new Family Guy yesterday, but the cable box defied your instructions (yet again) and failed to change the channel.

That was bad.

What was worse was what you recorded: something on Country Music Television?!!11 That means, of course, that you were recording something on that station before trying to get Family Guy.

Now, I know I must take part of the blame. After repeating Guided Setup, it's my responsibility to delete all sports, foreign language, and country music stations from your listings. I somehow missed one. But how?! How could you not know me after all these years?

Painfully I pulled up your love notes to me, "TiVo's Suggestions," hoping to see there was some huge error. Maybe you thought that channel was something else? I wanted to believe, but it was too much to hope for. Tears welled up in my eyes as I hysterically hit the red DO NOT WANT button. I must've pressed it 10 times as you complained "BONG! BONG! BONG!" as though I were hurting you. I wanted to hurt you. How could you do this to me?!

After all of these years, I thought you knew me! I thought we had something special!

I'm scared to pull up your suggestions now—afraid I'll find you've been watching college baseball. Or worse: Country music festival college baseball hosted by Dr. Phil in Mandarin.

I don't know. I just... I just need to be alone for a little while. It's like there's a stranger in my bedroom now. It's best we not speak for a while.

 

Mood: crushed     
Listening to: Madonna - Love Don't Live Here Anymore     

ONOES! WE HAVE TERRORS!!
Thu, Feb. 22nd, 2007  •  18:06

It's official: we've lost the war on terrah... and it was by friendly fire.

Police blow up CD players that blared in church (via wtf_inc)

SANTA FE, New Mexico (AP) -- Three CD players hidden under a cathedral's pews blared sexually explicit language in the middle of an Ash Wednesday Mass, leading a bomb squad to detonate two of the devices.

Mood: *facedesk*     
Listening to: Death Cab for Cutie - A Lack of Color     

State of the Union v. Groundhog Day
Thu, Jan. 25th, 2007  •  11:04

I had this IM waiting for me this morning:

Mood: hyper     
Listening to: She Wants Revenge - These Things     

Redefining Sophistry
Thu, Jan. 18th, 2007  •  15:31

From today's judicial hearings:

I meant by that comment that the Constitution doesn't say that every individual in the United States or every citizen has or is assured the right of habeas corpus. It doesn't say that. It simply says that the right of habeas corpus shall not be suspended."

-U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales (source)

Listening to: Jack Johnson - Good People     

snow in the motherfucking basin
Wed, Jan. 17th, 2007  •  18:13

i'll drive to the snow when i want motherfucking snow. no one called pinkdot and said we wanted snow delivery.

first thunder, then a sudden rain storm, then hail. Now... snow.



It motherfucking snowed in motherfucking Zuma.

Reports of snow flurries at UCLA and at the Ralph's, like 2 minutes away from the office.

this shit better have melted cuz my ass has to drive home. ENOUGH WITH THE COLD ALREADY! it's played. tired. over. done. SCENE!

stop it! now someone warm this bitch back up above 60 so i can go outside without my nipples cutting through my shirt.

 

Mood: freezing balls     
Listening to: Brand New - Jesus Christ     

Freezing balls leads to a geek-filled weekend
Mon, Jan. 15th, 2007  •  15:48

It's cold here in L.A.

Ball freezing cold outside. The Pea coat, scarf, gloves, beanie, they do NOTHING! My friend, Mr. I'm-from-Illinois called me a weather pussy, which I'm totally okay with as my weather pussy was nice and warm all weekend inside.

Seriously, I don't think I stepped foot outside the building after dark (well, after that one tragic Trader Joe's walk Friday night, anyway). Cold weather and rain are two times you can stay in on the weekend and not feel guilty about it.

So, $200 poorer, I did surgery on the Macbook and gave it a 2gb transplant so I could assign 1gb to the parallels' virtual machine. I think the Thinkpad is jealous. Regardless, it's the seXbox that got all the love this weekend.

After that, I spent each night turning on the fireplace, sitting on the coffee table, playing Xbox. You'd be surprised how long you can do that with a sippy cupped filled with caffeine perched in front of you (actually, until your bladder commands you to get up).

I'm not sure how long the Arctic freeze is supposed to last here. It's kind of out of control. My roommate mmsed me a picture from his car this morning showing "35F" (he gets up way earlier than I). I'd like to thaw out though. I don't like wearing coats, and my idea of layers is a long sleeve under a short sleeve.

Anyway, it being MLK Day, and being stuck at work, I've found myself reminded of a quote that I've always found really poignant and probably something that's good to remind myself of more than just once a year:

Lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

location: Santa Monica, CA     
Listening to: 30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill     

Doughnuts: the other other other other white meat
Fri, Jan. 5th, 2007  •  11:08

Sweet Mother of all things pure and holy

So the freakish wind storm last night totally woke my ass up repeatedly as it kept throwing pieces of nature at the sliding glass door in my bedroom. The wind was also somehow managing to get inside a little bit, causing the vertical blinds to knock against each other. The thought even crossed my mind it might be hail, something I haven't heard since the storms we had in Spring of '98. But this was so loud, I thought El Niño was back and sitting right outside the door wanting to come in.

Well after being woken up again and again (and I'm a pretty heavy sleeper), I got up to look out the window in the family room. The wind seriously looked as if it was about to knock a tree over. On my way back to my bedroom to hop on the laptop to see what's up, I saw the sad, blinking light of the Vonage phone telling me, "ONOES! UR INTARWEBS R BROK3N ZOMG!" So... I grabbed Time-Warner Cable's number on my way back, picked up my cell phone, lied back down, and tried to get my news the old school way: I turned on KTLA.

The weather guy said we were having winds up to 30 mph, but that shit looked crazier than that. He went on to explain something about cold, north winds blowing into the area, the cold air expanding, going over the hill, falling to the ground, and racing down the slope as the cause. Since my bedroom window sits pretty much on the bottom of the slope facing the Santa Monica Mountains, this seemed to explain why things sounds so bad out there.

Anyway, this post had a point. Oh, yes!

So after this, since I couldn't go back to sleep anymore (because I was on hold with Time-Warner trying to find out about my internets), I kept watching the news like a zombie. At some point, they cut to Frittelli's, which I hadn't heard of. Apparently, it's this new doughnut shop on Cañon in Beverly Hills. Everything is supposed to be hand-made using all natural ingredients and "the finest chocolates," according to my new reporter friend.

Well, they had me at "do." Once they said "chocolate," it was all over. I kept watching as the bitch kept taunting me with her Chocolate Heath doughnut. I knew where I was going on my way to work.

Anyway, the point of this story is that, these doughnuts were pretty freakin good. I mean, it's a doughnut. There's not a lot you can do. However, I would totally rank them better than Krispy Kreme. I really wanted to try the dulce de leche they list on their website, but they didn't appear to have any, and I forgot to ask 'cause there were so many choices.

Of course, the true test of any doughnut shop, imho, is the glazed doughnut. All other fancy pants dirty mouth lawyer pants doughnuts, while good and often my faves, are just fluff. And... the glazed was very good; the chocolate was really effing good. My coworker has the pretty blueberry one on his desk at the moment; I'm very curious to hear his review. Good thing is, they weren't too crazy expensive either (I think about $1.25 for a nice-sized doughnut). Although, I can't really admit to knowing what the current market rate is for a doughnut.

Anyway, so the real story is: I had a good doughnut, and I'm really tired from lack of sleep (which may cut into my plans to get Rainbow Six today). The end.

 

Mood: satiated     
Listening to: Cold War Kids - Hang Me Up To Dry     

Weirdest dream... evar
Fri, Dec. 29th, 2006  •  15:19

so last night (or likely this morning since I woke up with the ktla news on).

I dreamt that I was right outside the place where they were showing President Ford's, well, decomposing corpse. In the dream I was either hearing or seeing the news. They were talking about how those wishing to view the body lying in state would need to park and take a shuttle, yadda yadda.

Anyway, I noticed the line was actually very short, and I just happened to be standing right there. When I looked down at Ford, I noticed that his head was in a large, round plastic container with a plastic lid on it (like you put leftovers in). It seems very Futurama-ish now that I think about it, but it didn't look like that nor did I think that in the dream.

Anywho, without thinking I started to pull off the lid and noticed that the liquid was opaque, and there was a lemon wedge floating on top (I assumed to mask the smell). I got kind of grossed out at that point, and thought that maybe I was doing something I wasn't supposed to do. I put the lid back on quickly, but I think part of it didn't close all the way and I kind of meandered off.

That's all I remember. I think the dream ended at that point. Totally weird.

Now, analyze that! Although I guess it kinda goes along with today's xkcd.

In other news, I can't believe I'm actually paying $1,000 (my share) for rent now. Why can't my rent fall as fast as the value of the US $1?? (rhetorical question). Also, I can't believe this crappy OSX LJ client doesn't have a decent preview. The MacBook just happened to be at my feet, and I'm too lazy to go get the ThinkPad out of my bedroom to use Semagic. I need to go bust a cap in some Nazi ass before I get my drink on.

 

Mood: confused     
Listening to: Call of Duty 3 Theme     

Kangaroos Are Bad People
Mon, Dec. 25th, 2006  •  22:46

I'm lagging a bit, but it's once again time for the annual defacing of the Google Holiday Doodle.

2006's Doodle - Garland stealing Kangaroos








[edit: 2006-12-26 18:40 - late addition]



[edit: 2006-12-26 19:33 - late late addition]




Happy Holidays!
(and remember, kids: don't steal others' holiday decorations to knit sweaters)

Mood: sleepy     
Listening to: Death Cab for Cutie - Summer Skin     

Random flashback
Wed, Dec. 13th, 2006  •  10:46

if you need a car or truck, pussy cow. PUSSY COW!

if you want to save a buck, pussy cow. PUSSY COW!

if you want a brand new dodge, in your driveway or garage, PUSSY COW!

PUSSY COW!

PUSSY COW!


I'm not sure what made me just spontaneously blurt that out. I think I just had a stroke or someone spiked my soda.

 

Mood: hyper     
Listening to: Snow Patrol - Final Straw     

ONOEZ SOY I5 GIVNIG KIDZ TEH GHEY!!
Tue, Dec. 12th, 2006  •  17:52

neocons seriously crack. my. shit. up.

A friend sent me this. The Onion can't even make stuff like this up. I can't even believe they actually believe this much less put it in print for the whole world to see, but thank the gods they do.

A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals

There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular.

Now, I'm a health-food guy, a fanatic who seldom allows anything into his kitchen unless it's organic. I state my bias here just so you'll know I'm not anti-health food.

The dangerous food I'm speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and they're all over the place. You can hardly escape them anymore.

[...]

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them... .

Mood: can't. stop. loling.     
Listening to: Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars     

Old Cyanide and Happiness
Sat, Nov. 25th, 2006  •  8:17

rofl.

 

Mood: lol     

stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it
Mon, Oct. 23rd, 2006  •  16:27

Whoever made up the term web 2.0 should be shot in the ass, dragged through a salt mine naked, and then set on fire.

 

Listening to: Story of the Year - Razorblades     

Helium phone
Thu, Oct. 19th, 2006  •  21:25

Of all the batshit crazy things my cell phone does, I find the fact that it randomly starts talking really fast and at a higher pitch to be among the weirdest.

Telling me I have a meeting in 5 minutes, sounding like it just inhaled a whip it, is a little unnerving. I think my drinking too much soda is somehow affecting it. The new beta version of ActiveSync has clearly gone too far.

 

Mood: caffeinated     
Listening to: Muse - Sing for Absolution     

Stupid Planet
Fri, Sep. 22nd, 2006  •  0:58

BAH!

I hate it getting dark early, and I hate it being cold at night!

...stupid Earth and its stupid seasons.

Listening to: Colbert Report